Grieving the choices we decide to change

Most of us start our adult lives planning how it should turn out. We go study/work based on what we initially thought was what we wanted. 

Then you notice a shift whether it’s from the start or down the line; what you chose doesn’t bring you that feeling of fulfillment, excitement and joy. 

But you live in a society where it is commendable to stay at job, relationship or place that drains you. You see others doing the same job for decades and they seem satisfied (they might be), so you feel out of place for not being satisfied with what you’re doing. 

And you try to change your mindset about it, but it only seems to make it harder for you to get up in the morning, you start to isolate, avoid others in fear they might see it in your eyes. That you are living a life that is not yours. 

So you double down and try again, you become obsessed with the feeling of dissatisfaction and try to find external reasons for it (which are still valid). 

Yet the reality is you need to step away from it in order to have a broader perception of what you want. And that takes a lot of courage to even acknowledge. 

By acknowledging that something needs to change; you feel that you should be positive about your courageous decision and try to repress your feelings. 

If you are sad doesn’t that mean you made a mistake of letting go? No, it means you are grieving the energy, effort and dedication you put in. You are sad because this was something you wished and hoped for at a point in your life. 

It would be so much easier if everything worked out how you planned it to be. For some reason, your path is different and that is scary even if it is exciting. 

It is okay to have a range of emotions that surfaces up and it is okay to honour them. It doesn’t mean that you made a wrong choice it just means you’re human with emotional awareness and intelligence. 💛