Why did I start a blog?

Join me as I unravel the swarming thoughts in my mind while rediscovering who I am beyond the conditioning. My journey started years ago, always reaching the point of burn-out, taking a quick break, and repeating the same cycle. Finally, I am breaking the cycle piece by piece, which is allowing the unseen parts of me to flourish.

Ever since I was a child, my life has been uprooted so many times, leaving the States, Yemen, UAE, Malaysia, then Bahrain. I had to start over in a new place, meet new people, learn new cultures, etc. So understanding non-verbal social cues and sensing others’ emotions was something I had to learn quickly at a very young age. I was considered to be mature for my age, that quiet little “good girl” made me more self-aware of others’ moods, energies, perceptions, whatever you would like to call it. I was non-threatening, a short young girl who was able to hold space for others.

During my school years, I was the advisor or counselor to my family and friends. If a person felt down or needed someone to hear them out, I would be there for them. My own parents would come to me to vent or to ask for advice. I had a gift for finding the right words to say, even if it took more time than before.

As I became an adult, I decided to go into medicine in Yemen, become a doctor, thinking this is a way to help people in the way I knew how. Of course, the ideal form of how a physician should interact with patients was not much seen in the real world. Having 15 minutes to manage the symptoms of the patient and push them out of the door because there are many more waiting outside or online at this time and age, so guiding patients or giving them space to not only treat them but help them thrive could not be done.

Circumstances occurred where I had to move countries more than once, and having to start over my medical career from scratch became exhausting. From Yemen to KSA to Canada, my body, mind, and spirit were just burnt out from this cycle. But it was the push I needed to focus more on my mental health, being diagnosed with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) followed by ADHD at the age of 33 years. I started going through different medical and holistic modalities that have opened my eyes to the multi-layered facets of myself, my perception of everything, and the world we live in.

I have always loved writing and felt I could always express myself more without being misunderstood in writing. It has always been profoundly therapeutic and reflective, like I was having a conversation with another version of me. So rather than staying on the hustling hamster wheel, I decided to start a blog for my thoughts and just take the time to unravel them one thread at a time. Let’s have fun with this!